Soon-to-be Fathers T-Shirts

Chapter 10: How to extend your stay and throw your father's paternity leave application into chaos.

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"I miss the Augean stables."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

"They look so young and helpless."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

Fat Kid 3- Pet slug runs amok (colour)

"Which one's yours?"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"So! When's the big day?"

"It's a dependent!"

'You can have a cute little boy like me. All you have to do is get pregnant.'

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

Daisy Diaper Service

Push, push, push...

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

'Oooh, she has your eyes Horus.'

'I'm afraid we don't deliver on Sundays.'

The (literal) birth of Venus.

Baby Footballer

"Well, I never! So this is where babies come from!!"

"Six down, three to go!!"

Maternity Arrivals

Ginger hair