Soon-to-be Dad Gifts

'What sort of silly planning is this?...I've got fingernails but no teeth to chew them with.'

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Doughboy Dad

Dad Trophies

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

Food deliverer's baby.

"That's mine!"

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

"You really shouldn't ask for material things like a bike. At least try for a Porsche."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"Which one's mine?"

"Which one's yours?"

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"It's a dependent!"

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

Father nursing his sick child

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"Relax, Dad... I'll put your toothbrush away when I'm done. I always do."