Navigating Accidental Pregnancy Gifts

Pregnancy Test

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Pregnant women having a ultrasound done.

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"Were we expecting a baby?"

Mighty Man Of Justice Is Born

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

"Please, James...will you stop worrying whether the baby will meet all government regulations!"

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

Smartphone Sonogram

The sad fate of Isaac Newton's Tahitian counterpart.

"Oooh! I think I just felt our stock split."

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

May the force be with you

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

Mistaken identity.

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"This could be quite boring. No club jumper, no theme song and no pie nights!"

"Congratulations! It's centuplets!"

"Sweet dreams my little tax break."

"Because the 'morning after pill' is not a rectal suppository."

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

'Sorry Mrs Jones, but they're unlikely to raise the age to 13.'

Sonographer and pregnant couple looking at images of the fetus on a screen with options to share the image on various social media platforms

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

Chapter 10: How to extend your stay and throw your father's paternity leave application into chaos.