Uni-corn Whisperer T-Shirts

Uni-corn, the lesser.

The Busy Gardener

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Plant Lady

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

An Unexpected Guest.

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

The Worm Charmer

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Garden Goddess.

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

An old man growing berries

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

Botany Baby!

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.