Uni-corn Whisperer T-Shirts

Uni-corn, the lesser.

The Busy Gardener

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

Plant Lady

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

An Unexpected Guest.

The Worm Charmer

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

Botany Baby!

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

"I'm losing my patience with you."

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

An old man growing berries

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'