Unhealthy Food Debate Gifts

"This is probably packed with milk-fat, tons of sugar, artificial flavorings and all kinds of emulsifiers!"

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

Gullib-Os

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

'Eating several servings of vegetables everyday is very good, as long as they aren't just pizza toppings.'

'It says all the chemical ingredients in this food were made by organic, free range scientists.'

"Is this because I didn’t eat my kale?"

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

'Organically-grown popcorn? Give me a break!'

"Eating junk food may make you feel young at heart, but it isn't making your heart feel young."

'Sure hope this doesn't give me heartburn. . .'

"Can I substitute saltwater taffy for the five servings of seafood?"

"Oh, I do a little grass on occasion, but I avoid the heavy cruciferous greens."

"We used to think sugar and spice were all things nice - until that was proved to be a lie put out by global food manufacturers."

"What's healthy about breakfast cereals?"

The meat's fine,it's just the milk tastes of gherkins.

'Boy! Did I get some bad news today! I found out french fries is a veg'table!'

The It Tastes Like Cr*p Because Its Healthy Cafe

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

"If this food is healthy, then what about the rest of the store?"

"And who's been eating my genetically modified porridge?"

'How do we bake such delicious large muffins that have only 50 calories? False advertising.'

"Well you did say you wanted something gluten, sugar, fat, additives and calorie free."

"Sure doc, I can eat healthy tasteless food and exercise until my lungs implode. Or, you can just inject some drain cleaner into my eyeball and save us both a lot of time and trouble."

"Papi, we've decided we want nothing but salads...and hamburgers...for every meal."