Unexpected Vision Witness Gifts

Tiny Visions

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

Can't read 'SLOW'.

Louis Pasteur

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

"We pride ourselves on defying expectations."

'Slow down. . . okay. . . 'Do you solemnly swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?''

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

Will You Marry Me Marcy 'Tough break, Marcy.'

"All I get is a bird's eye view."

"The truth, the whole truth and a touch of double entendre to keep everybody on their toes."

"Truth, whole truth, nothing but the truth? I'm not ready for that much of a commitment."

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"

"Yes, that's him there. The fellow making the finger-across-the-throat gesture."

"What qualifies you to be a ballistics expert?"

'How am I doing?'

''The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth'? -- How patriarchal can you get?'

Submarine Sees Jesus Walking on Water

"This is not Easter Island. My boat sank before getting there."

'Then there were 85 bottles of beer on the wall. We took one down and passed it around and after that, it's a complete blank.'

'I swear to tell the truth,the whole truth,and nothing but the truth, from my perspective.'

'Yes, that's him. That's the author of the book that grabbed me and wouldn't let go!'

'If you want to know what really happened, you'll have to buy my new book.'

"The whole truth? You won't settle for two percent or skim?"

'In my opinion the three pigs did their share of huffing and puffing.'

'Objection! He keeps talking. How am I supposed to get his mouth right?'

"What version of the Bible?...I don't know. It was left here by the Gideons."

'We find the defendant guiltyish.'

"Let's just say I'm leaving to pursue other interests."

Counselor, you're bullying the witness. It's part of the endless cycle of bullying, your honor: Judge bullies lawyer, lawyer bullies witness, witness bullies pet goldfish.