Miracle Witnesses Gifts

Submarine Sees Jesus Walking on Water

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

Tiny Visions

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

"That's my boy!"

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

Louis Pasteur

'Waiter, there's a mysterious stain on this napkin.'

"Are you sure you sent out those invitations?"

"Holy water, holy water...."

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

'Fish and bread? That's it? Seriously?'

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

'You can't win -- I turned the water into wine, and then everybody wanted free refills!'

'Water into wine is certainly impressive. D'you do water into petrol?'

'This is wonderful. It will help millions of people.'

Moses Parting the Red Tea