Miracle Enthusiast Gifts

'I have something to tell you, Moses...'

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

Jesus: the childhood years.

Keep Off The Grass and Keep Off the Water Too

'You can't win -- I turned the water into wine, and then everybody wanted free refills!'

Push button for sea to part.

"Congratulations! It's a messiah!"

"Asparagus, insurance detective. You died and we paid your life insurance and suddenly you rise from the dead?! That's what I'd call insurance fraud, Mr Jesus!"

"I realize it was a miracle, but you still need to pay taxes on the fair market value for all the wine created out of water."

"I'm sure you hear this all the time, but I have a great idea for an Act of God."

Young Jesus learning to walk on water with waterwings around his ankles.

"What's the trick?"

"I TOLD you they have hard water around here."

"I don't care who your Dad is, you're spooking the fish"

No one knows why Jesus stopped going to frat parties: 'What are we going to do with all this water?'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

'You'll love these, sir - you'll think you're walking on water!'

Jesus falling over a wave.

Jesus water skiing!

'That lumbago you just got rid of - you gave to me!'

'Here we go again...'

'I turned water into wine. It's a mixed blessing.'

'No, he DOESN'T do penis enlargements!'

Angel rambler walks on water.

'James, Simon, wake up... ...the Master is sleep-healing again.'

"Now, there's something you don't see every day."

"I've told you that if you're going to wade through the water, you must wear your galoshes."

"My uncle can turn a twenty-dollar bill into wine."

Walking on Water

"Well I can ask, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't do house calls."

"Sure we follow you because you're the Messiah, but it doesn't hurt that you conjure up a kick-ass Galilee merlot."

Elisha floats the keys to the borrowed car, after the disciple dropped them in the water.

"He made me think I could clear it."

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

"Which button on the phone did you press?"