Miracle Observers Gifts

"Look. Jesus healed my severed leg."

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Tiny Visions

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

Magic Act

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

Moses gets REALLY lost in the desert.

"That's my boy!"

Moses Separates the Cream. . .

"Are you sure you sent out those invitations?"

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

'Waiter, there's a mysterious stain on this napkin.'

'You can't win -- I turned the water into wine, and then everybody wanted free refills!'

'Water into wine is certainly impressive. D'you do water into petrol?'

"Oooh! What's he gonna do now?!"

Moses Parting the Red Tea

Jesus falling over a wave.

"Which button on the phone did you press?"

"... And the cold foam cascara nitro goes to Lazarus!"

Don't Walk on the Water

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

Submarine Sees Jesus Walking on Water

'That lumbago you just got rid of - you gave to me!'