Mirage Observer Gifts

The right place at the right time. I'm guessing that's most likely a mirage.

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Tiny Visions

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

Camel rider sees sign stating: The Next Mirage 16 miles.

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

"Remember, if you can fly you don’t have to wait for the ice to melt."

"Has it occurred to you one of us might be a mirage?"

"Cheer up Skip - worse things happen at sea..."

'What day is trash pickup around here?'

Caution: Crumbling Economies

'Reserved' (presumably for little miss muffet)

'This is the eight hundred and sixty-seventh day of my captivity - How about you?'

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

"The government is going to fight climate change by rearranging the deckchairs on the iceberg."

'He's so fast he has to stop to clean the insects off his glasses.'

"I'm worried about Junior... all he wants to do is kill things."

'You won't believe this darling. But, I almost didn't ask you out on this date, because I thought you might be a mirage.'

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

"Oh, Maria — so many eggs!"

"It's elephants who never forget. Elephant seals forget all the time."

Oculist.

"These desert mirages are virtually like being at the beach."

Space junk.

'I've always found the stars disappointingly small.'

First Contact

"You read the exit sign. The eye chart is behind you."

'It looks fishy to me.'

Proposed site for new multi storey mirage.

"Never mind."

"Well, of course you feel like you are - We ARE all just going around in circles!"

"Look. Jesus healed my severed leg."

The Short Hop From Boomer To Delusional

"We start out as bottom fish and just seem to stay here."