Miracle Observers T-Shirts

"Look. Jesus healed my severed leg."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Tiny Visions

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

Magic Act

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

"That's my boy!"

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

'Waiter, there's a mysterious stain on this napkin.'

"Are you sure you sent out those invitations?"

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

'You can't win -- I turned the water into wine, and then everybody wanted free refills!'

'Water into wine is certainly impressive. D'you do water into petrol?'

Moses Parting the Red Tea

"... And the cold foam cascara nitro goes to Lazarus!"

"Which button on the phone did you press?"

Jesus falling over a wave.

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

"Yeah, he changed water into wine but it was nothing you'd want to lay down."

Bishop reads menu which features only loaves, fishes, water and wine.

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.