Witness Gifts

'I swear to tell the truth,the whole truth,and nothing but the truth, from my perspective.'

'Yes, that's him. That's the author of the book that grabbed me and wouldn't let go!'

"Yes, that's him there. The fellow making the finger-across-the-throat gesture."

'If you want to know what really happened, you'll have to buy my new book.'

"State your name, age, place of residence, and natural hair color."

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

Man's oath in the courtroom sets the bible on fire.

"The whole truth? You won't settle for two percent or skim?"

'Slow down. . . okay. . . 'Do you solemnly swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?''

"Truth, whole truth, nothing but the truth? I'm not ready for that much of a commitment."

"The truth, the whole truth and a touch of double entendre to keep everybody on their toes."

'In my opinion the three pigs did their share of huffing and puffing.'

'In an effort to speed things up, you may leave out all of the 'uhs' and 'you knows'''

Forget the reward. It's too late to call Crime Stoppers. If you saw what happened, say so.'

'Objection! He keeps talking. How am I supposed to get his mouth right?'

"What version of the Bible?...I don't know. It was left here by the Gideons."

"When you testify, Marty, tell the truth and let the lawyers go to hell."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

''The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth'? -- How patriarchal can you get?'

'Counselor, you're bullying the witness.'

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

'We find the defendant guiltyish.'

'Then there were 85 bottles of beer on the wall. We took one down and passed it around and after that, it's a complete blank.'

Compliments.

"I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth - unless you ask me how I am, in which case I will say, 'I'm fine', even though I'm not fine."

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

Tiny Visions

"#notguilty."

clock shopkeeper says timing is everything

"It's running five minutes fast."

Man looking at watch while a cuckoo comes out of his head

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."