Witness Wrangler Gifts

Two witnesses say you took the money, But 10 witnesses say I didn't.

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

High Riders of the Old West

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Parenting Business Deals

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

How Many It Takes

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

Quiet Time

'A willingness to sacrifice yourself to bring 'peace and succor to the suffering' is all very well Mother Theresa but I don't think it makes up for your lack of knowledge of current hand sanitisation protocols.'

'Did you want me, boss?'

Kindergarten Primary School Teacher

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

"I need you to line up by attention span."

'And the 4 years it took him to get the permit teaches him a lot about doing business in the U.S.'

'Don't forget. When this photo shoot is over I get a bucket of shiners.'

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

"I handle chatty people for him."

'Sorry, Holly!'

'Are you SURE you didn't invite the Brownes around for supper?'

"Don't try to understand them, just ride and rope and brand them."

'He never has an energy crisis.'