Attention Wrangler Gifts

"I need you to line up by attention span."

The Baby Walker

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

High Riders of the Old West

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Parenting Business Deals

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"If you're not on the brink of despair you're part of the problem"

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

The First Day Back

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Quiet Time

Nanny with children on leash

'Did you want me, boss?'

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

Kindergarten Primary School Teacher

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

'Right now my plate's full juggling school and parents.'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey - it's part of the aging process.'

"I handle chatty people for him."

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

"The Day Center called. They say your little girl is resisting arrest."