Unexpected Story Lover Gifts

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"I just never 'think I can' anymore."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

The Family Joules: Part 5

'MUM, go and get Daddy, there's another knight coming: This is so much fun!'

"What did Jesus order?"

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

Fishing.

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

"Love your ambiance!"

Fairy tale

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

'I thought you were going for a walk in the woods. Your porridge has been cooling on the table for hours! '

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

'Tarzan's younger brother, Ed, was raised by sloths.'

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."