Unexpected Death Gifts

"Everything else is great. I'm just saying... a little advance notice would have been nice."

'We'd better call and put a hold on the newspaper for the neighbor. He appears to be gone and they're piling up.'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

Will You Marry Me Marcy 'Tough break, Marcy.'

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

"All I get is a bird's eye view."

Man reading in lamp

'How am I doing?'

"This'll be our first Christmas together."

"Who would have thought, us in Hawaii, still we'd better get used to mixin' with the jet set. . ."

"This is not Easter Island. My boat sank before getting there."

'Really, this award has come as a great surprise...'

'Mom, Dad. . . remember that day you sent me to law school and I got lost?'

"What luck!"

"Two years at home Son, and all you've earned is points on my credit card."

I was in a menage a trois...until she ran off with our marriage guide counsellor!

'Regardless, our trip to the Upper Amazon was fine. You know David--everything has to be perfect.'

"This neighborhood still attracts the occasional exile."

"I didn't expect to see you again, Mr Sykes. The tablets worked then?"

'So do you have any travel plans fah the holidays, Eddie?'

Fisherman finds golf kit

Lie down - have a rest.

'Has winning all that money changed him, you ask...?'

Big Surprise (vending machine)

"It's not my fault I died in the shower!"

"I dragged a man out of a burning building. Un"fortunately, it was a fireman...

"No it's not too serious... I'm sure you can get a refund on your travel tickets!"

'I haven't been totally honest with you...'

Catching a Boot

"Your husband seems to have recovered - it's what we call a never event."

'I crashed my sportscar on the way to a Golf match.'