Unexpected Artist Gifts

"This is astounding, Al. You never struck me as a jaiku kind of a guy."

'That would be your perfect job...paid to do nothing!'

'You said you went to night classes to draw birds, and when I asked whether they had clothes on and you said they didn't - you know I didn't expect this!'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'It wasn't premeditated.

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

"Ok, maybe a surprise party wasn't the best idea."

"She doesn’t fetch or roll over or anything really, but she’s a terrific whistler."

(Visual gag) Taxidermist.

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is McWit Construction actually finished a job on time.'

'Yeah, they're neat tattoos, but they're only visible at shearing time each year...'

"How much do you want off the top?"

'Sit!'

'All I've ever wanted to do is dance!'

Man blowing glass. His dentures have fallen out and are in the glass bubble.

'Sorry... I should've warned you. In our company, we're encouraged to color outside the lines!'

"Can you hear me now?"

Shark Bomb

A statue of a baseball player swinging a bat stands next to a building with a broken glass window.

Monk Parrot.

Can You Dance?

The Crew played Musical Selections from 'Luciano Pavarotti sings Snoop Dog."

"Yes, they do make you look taller."

'Cheer up Mom...They say dead is the new 80.'

Hair trigger

'Hey, look!'

'This guy REALLY leads a sheltered life- he lists Santa as a reference.'

I didn't realise you sold shoes!

'During my trip around the World, I took some pictures with this new digital camera... here is my finger covering the lens in Sidney... here in New York... Rome... Lisbon... Hamburg...'

"Weird - it must have gotten mixed in with the office supplies when I left the job."

Woman playing piano with her feet.

"The video of you giving that big bloke a piece of your mind has gone viral!"