Unexpected Artist Gifts

"This is astounding, Al. You never struck me as a jaiku kind of a guy."

'That would be your perfect job...paid to do nothing!'

'You said you went to night classes to draw birds, and when I asked whether they had clothes on and you said they didn't - you know I didn't expect this!'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'It wasn't premeditated.

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

"Ok, maybe a surprise party wasn't the best idea."

(Visual gag) Taxidermist.

"She doesn’t fetch or roll over or anything really, but she’s a terrific whistler."

Where history's best ideas happen.

'Yeah, they're neat tattoos, but they're only visible at shearing time each year...'

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is McWit Construction actually finished a job on time.'

'All I've ever wanted to do is dance!'

'Sit!'

I'm leaving the band in order to pursue a solo career.

"How much do you want off the top?"

Man blowing glass. His dentures have fallen out and are in the glass bubble.

Can You Dance?

A statue of a baseball player swinging a bat stands next to a building with a broken glass window.

Shark Bomb

'Sorry... I should've warned you. In our company, we're encouraged to color outside the lines!'

Monk Parrot.

"Can you hear me now?"

"Yes, they do make you look taller."

The Crew played Musical Selections from 'Luciano Pavarotti sings Snoop Dog."

'Cheer up Mom...They say dead is the new 80.'

Hair trigger

Woman playing piano with her feet.

"Weird - it must have gotten mixed in with the office supplies when I left the job."

A surprisingly challenging resolution. This year my resolution is to leave well enough alone.

'Hey, look!'

'During my trip around the World, I took some pictures with this new digital camera... here is my finger covering the lens in Sidney... here in New York... Rome... Lisbon... Hamburg...'

I didn't realise you sold shoes!