Surprise Artist Gifts

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Ok, maybe a surprise party wasn't the best idea."

Shark Bomb

'Sorry, miss. It seems to be stuck!'

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

'They were all out of roses.'

'It wasn't premeditated.

Instant art

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

'You said you went to night classes to draw birds, and when I asked whether they had clothes on and you said they didn't - you know I didn't expect this!'

"How many surprise witnesses do you have in that little car?"

"She doesn’t fetch or roll over or anything really, but she’s a terrific whistler."

Art Museum: Our exhibit of forgotten masters continues with What's His Name...

Cow's Surprise Party.

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is McWit Construction actually finished a job on time.'

'Yeah, they're neat tattoos, but they're only visible at shearing time each year...'

I'm leaving the band in order to pursue a solo career.

'Sit!'

Woman finding jack-in-a-box in her saucepan.

'All I've ever wanted to do is dance!'

Man blowing glass. His dentures have fallen out and are in the glass bubble.

"Can you hear me now?"

Can You Dance?

Monk Parrot.

A statue of a baseball player swinging a bat stands next to a building with a broken glass window.

'Cheer up Mom...They say dead is the new 80.'

Hair trigger

"Weird - it must have gotten mixed in with the office supplies when I left the job."

'Hey, look!'

"They told me I was going places. They just never told me where."

Deep in his heart James the accountant was an artist. Sometimes when he was alone in his office, he worked the keyboard like a pianist playing the Goldberg variations.

I didn't realise you sold shoes!

'This guy REALLY leads a sheltered life- he lists Santa as a reference.'