Underdog Rooter Pillows

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Eat my dust!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

David and Goliath.

'Haven't they found you a chair, yet Cludmore?'

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

"Thank you, Sir."

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

'Oh great, we'll never win with this nerd on our team.'

Published but unread poet.

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

Stop the big guy!

"Like many attorneys I was the runt of the litter."

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

Masochistic Soccer Fan

'Determined little guy.'

Balloons vs. Rockets

"Way to go, guys! When I gave you that pep talk before the game I didn't actually think you'd score a goal!"