Underdog Rooter Gifts

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Eat my dust!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

The Leafs win the Cup!

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

Runt! You'll never make the team. We'll see! You can't even tie your shoelace! Great technique!

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

David and Goliath.

'Haven't they found you a chair, yet Cludmore?'

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

"Thank you, Sir."

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

Ant holds up the word 'TRIUMPH'.

'Oh great, we'll never win with this nerd on our team.'

"I've had enough of character building, Dad. Can I support a successful team now?"

Stop the big guy!

"Like many attorneys I was the runt of the litter."

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

Published but unread poet.

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

"It says here researchers have found we're not as smart as some people believe."

March 8, 2030: the debut of 'Rocky 19.'

'Determined little guy.'

Ballad of a Replacement Player

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

Balloons vs. Rockets

"Way to go, guys! When I gave you that pep talk before the game I didn't actually think you'd score a goal!"