Undercover Academic Gifts

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

Eternal Student.

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"Miss Rogers told me I have a personal 'cloud' to store knowledge in."

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

Now showing, at a University near you...

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

"We thought this was more realistic."

"Turtling: When a child's backpack exceeds his weight"

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

Your salary as a research assistant is commensurate on your ability of spell, define, and delineate the work 'commensurate.'

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

"Where are redactions when you need them?"

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"