Academic Underworld Explorer Gifts

"...and a final word of thanks to those hard-working scholars who never sleep: the term-paper ghostwriters."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Eternal Student.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"Miss Rogers told me I have a personal 'cloud' to store knowledge in."

Crab with a clown face.

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Now showing, at a University near you...

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

"We thought this was more realistic."

School. Learning is a lifelong process. It's only the graduation ceremonies that end.

"Turtling: When a child's backpack exceeds his weight"

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

"Where are redactions when you need them?"

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

Your salary as a research assistant is commensurate on your ability of spell, define, and delineate the work 'commensurate.'

Naked Mole Rat

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"