Unconventional Roles Gifts

Lester P. Dunwoody. A mysteriously happy square peg in a round hole that none of us can figure out.

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

Dog walking Human.

Office Park

'I still say there are better ways to decide which positions to eliminate!'

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

"Yes, but is 'Bigfoot enthusiast' an actual job?"

A dragon relaxing in a chair staring at a taxidermy knight's head above his fireplace.

Avoidance of Situation/Work required to succeed.

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

'Put the kettle on, Doreen.'

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

'Dad, I'm a lab-rat by choice, it's my profession. Now you're just going to have to accept the fact that you have a son who's pregnant!'

'I always keep him on a leash when I take him for a walk...'

This is a dog park Please keep your owner on a leash at all times.

"Good news, Spreadbury - you're to become the executive plaything."

'Bash Street Acadamy - Logistical Director. '

Cat being guarded by security mice.

"I think he's running as an independent."

"What makes you think I want to be a desperate housewife?"

'Just keep saying to yourself, 'I'm not a sexist, I'm not a sexist...''

"Interesting CV, we haven't had anyone with a qualification in 'being really good at stuff' before."

"They're little notes he keeps leaving me on how to best utilise my housekeeping time."

'I could do that!'

Relate - "...If she doesn't feel like cooking, then I send her to the takeaway."

"I'm an elephant podiatrist-what do you do?"

"What?"

"There are some 'While You Were Out' messages on the kitchen table."

"Honey, have you seen my loafers?"

Dog imagines himself in the master's place.

Harold...your human is open.

"Remember, bring it all back within two weeks and I'll refund your deposit."