Unconventional Careers Gifts

'I teach foreign languages to ATM machines. What do you do?'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

Caged Businessman

"...then finally, I got serious and started a band."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

'Howard's doing things he's always wanted to with his redundancy money.'

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'Cat job interviews.'

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

Office Park

After his first day, Lester, the new accountant for Acme Solar, Wind & Biomass Energy, Corp., realized he had become a green bean counter.

"By the way, I'm giving notice I start at Hooters on Monday."

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

"Yes, but is 'Bigfoot enthusiast' an actual job?"

'How do you know if you're a flying squirrel if you don't try?'

"The aspirin there is your medical benefit and here is your vision benefit."

"Sorry I'm late again, boss. I got held up in self-doubt and regrets."

"This is incredible! I thought Amelia Earhart was dead."

'Any awards or honors?'

"I've given you a glowing reference, Hempson. And here's the disclaimer to go with it."

Evolution looks like a good career move.

Idiot wanted, apply within.

'And what do you do for a living Gary?' 'I'm a Puppeteer.'

"So where do you see yourself in 5 years apart from a thousand miles from this f****** s**thole?"

'Dad, I'm a lab-rat by choice, it's my profession. Now you're just going to have to accept the fact that you have a son who's pregnant!'

'I hear you're leaving us, Wilkins!'

"It's actually a nice change. Before Eddie's business failed we were living in a gilded cage."

"Erm, fireman, teacher, train driver, anything that offers plenty of time off via strike action?"

"You're a bit overqualified for this position, how good are you are forgetting everything you know?"

'According to your resume, you multitask at the four person level. Here, our minimum starts at five.'

"Stupid bean counter!"

"I see by your resume that you've got a big problem with formatting."

"Interesting CV, we haven't had anyone with a qualification in 'being really good at stuff' before."

"I haven't always been a cowboy, you know."