Non-traditional Careerist Gifts

A self made man who didn't follow the directions.

My brilliant career

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

"...then finally, I got serious and started a band."

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

Run, Mike, Run!

'So, then.... you don't LIKE life in the fast lane?'

"We could hire some sign-wavers to stand by the side of the road and advertise our product."

'I have never seen a resume prepared in pastels and oil paint. How long have you been unemployed?'

"Yes, but is 'Bigfoot enthusiast' an actual job?"

'W e e e l l . . . my mum says I'm good at testing the patience of saints'

"Your experience is impressive and your qualifications excellent but I'm afraid you're let down by not being the same as everyone else."

A Temporary One Day A Year Job Is Not Enough, I Want A Permanent Job!

'Dad, I'm a lab-rat by choice, it's my profession. Now you're just going to have to accept the fact that you have a son who's pregnant!'

"Tech CEO, community leader, mother of two – she's both inspiring and demoralizing."

Appointment for Central London Executive - With Car and Parking Space

"But I want a career, a family, and a cracker"

"Any other skills?"

Sorry, Mr Arbutnot, I'm not interested

'He's not a doctor or an athletic trainer. He's not even a coach!'

'I could do that!'

'So you're the boy who wants to be a health and safety officer.'

"When he grows up he wants to be a low-quality high-volume healthcare provider."

"Interesting CV, we haven't had anyone with a qualification in 'being really good at stuff' before."

"Hello, dear. I had a very busy day at the office, grabbed a bite on the way home, and brought home some work which I'll do in my study. See you in the morning. Good night."

Leaving family

'No thanks! Knowing what I'm supposed to be doing might throw me off.'

'Your heart's not really in this job, is it?'

'Why can't you collect stamps like everybody else'

"Let's do it, let's fall in love."

'I teach foreign languages to ATM machines. What do you do?'

"I may have gone disco, Mrs. Mullins, but that doesn't mean my meats are no longer choice lean cuts competitively priced for today's cost-conscious consumer."

"I'm hoping to push our project deadline past my retirement date."

'Your best hope to make money is suing someone.'

'We don't have much at the moment for pimps.'