Unconventional Career Choice Gifts

'Dad, I'm a lab-rat by choice, it's my profession. Now you're just going to have to accept the fact that you have a son who's pregnant!'

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

"Surprise!"

Caged Businessman

"...then finally, I got serious and started a band."

'Howard's doing things he's always wanted to with his redundancy money.'

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

'Cat job interviews.'

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

'He's majoring in cave hydrology with, obviously, the ultimate aim of being a caveman like his Dad.'

"Baldo, I don't care what you are...as long as you're good at it."

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

'Son I want you to Follow in My Footsteps.'

The job is yours if you want it – but, of course, I'd expect you to sleep on it a few dozen times before deciding.

"By the way, I'm giving notice I start at Hooters on Monday."

"Yes, but is 'Bigfoot enthusiast' an actual job?"

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

"The aspirin there is your medical benefit and here is your vision benefit."

Cycle of Professional Development

"Sorry I'm late again, boss. I got held up in self-doubt and regrets."

'Any awards or honors?'

"This is incredible! I thought Amelia Earhart was dead."

Boy who has been to the dentist

"I've given you a glowing reference, Hempson. And here's the disclaimer to go with it."

Evolution looks like a good career move.

'So do I get the job or not?'

'I've decided to become a veterinarian, I love animals!'

'You're at that awkward age where the others have figured out that you're a drone and you don't do anything.'

"My teacher wouldn't let me clown around in class, so I was forced to run away and join the circus."

"So where do you see yourself in 5 years apart from a thousand miles from this f****** s**thole?"

Idiot wanted, apply within.