Unexpected Career Paths Gifts

"I can't imagine where I'd be today if it hadn't been for my high-school guidance counselor."

Caged Businessman

"...then finally, I got serious and started a band."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'Howard's doing things he's always wanted to with his redundancy money.'

'Cat job interviews.'

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

"By the way, I'm giving notice I start at Hooters on Monday."

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

"Yes, but is 'Bigfoot enthusiast' an actual job?"

"The aspirin there is your medical benefit and here is your vision benefit."

Cycle of Professional Development

"Sorry I'm late again, boss. I got held up in self-doubt and regrets."

On his first day as a paramedic Henry suffered Pre-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

"This is incredible! I thought Amelia Earhart was dead."

'Any awards or honors?'

"I've given you a glowing reference, Hempson. And here's the disclaimer to go with it."

Evolution looks like a good career move.

"I was quite pleased to find a job which allows me to see more of my husband."

"So where do you see yourself in 5 years apart from a thousand miles from this f****** s**thole?"

Idiot wanted, apply within.

'Dad, I'm a lab-rat by choice, it's my profession. Now you're just going to have to accept the fact that you have a son who's pregnant!'

'And what do you do for a living Gary?' 'I'm a Puppeteer.'

A Vet? I had you picked in advertising.

'According to your resume, you multitask at the four person level. Here, our minimum starts at five.'

"Erm, fireman, teacher, train driver, anything that offers plenty of time off via strike action?"

"Stupid bean counter!"

"You're a bit overqualified for this position, how good are you are forgetting everything you know?"

"It's actually a nice change. Before Eddie's business failed we were living in a gilded cage."

'Whoa! We sure blew that prediction!'

"I see by your resume that you've got a big problem with formatting."

Egg farm for sale: 'All that clucking and cackling is driving the owner nuts!'