New Career Path Gifts

John awoke feeling more optimistic. "I'm not unemployed - I'm self-employed. There's a difference," he lied.

'Howard's doing things he's always wanted to with his redundancy money.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

Where your mind & battle are los

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

In basket-case.

'How fast can you hype?'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

Outer Space Outsourcing

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Pipe Dream.

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"