Career Path Gifts

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

37 years in the same position.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

I've been working 20 hours a day. Well, that leaves you four hours to get to work.

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"Sure, I'm a successful working bee, but sometimes, I wish I could have a family..."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

"In addition to 'loyalty' are there any OTHER qualities you think you could bring to the job?"

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

"....how many kids have we got now?"

Working 9 to 5.

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

Scapegoat of the Year

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

If you really need permanent staff for IMMEDIATE cover then we could pull out all the stops and get someone by next October.

'Howard's doing things he's always wanted to with his redundancy money.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

'This is the last time we post job openings,'