Unconventional Jobs Gifts

Donut Ho

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

"...then finally, I got serious and started a band."

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

Office Park

"Yes, but is 'Bigfoot enthusiast' an actual job?"

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

On his first day as a paramedic Henry suffered Pre-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

'I don't know what we were thinking, baking inside a tree...'

"Get another job? I can't! My breed can only be faithful to one master in a lifetime!"

"You know, Christmas isn't the only time I'm busy. ..the rest of the year I deliver for Amazon."

'Dad, I'm a lab-rat by choice, it's my profession. Now you're just going to have to accept the fact that you have a son who's pregnant!'

'How much gin will I need for three medium size lemons?'

What sort of job are you after?

"It works!"

'I could do that!'

Sadojazzachists

'Darling, I've brought mom round for tea! I hope it won't spoil my surprise!'

'Now I can see why our son's roommates won't let him cook.'

"Interesting CV, we haven't had anyone with a qualification in 'being really good at stuff' before."

Lester P. Dunwoody. A mysteriously happy square peg in a round hole that none of us can figure out.

"He loved the beach."

"I'm an elephant podiatrist-what do you do?"

'Your Letter of Recommendation from the outlaw biker gang, the Devil's Serpents, was certainly complimentary...but it does raise other questions.'

'I'm looking for a temp job to fill the gap between my indictment and incarceration.'

'And what do you do for a living Richard?' 'I'm a Lightning Conductor.'

A self made man who didn't follow the directions.

'I teach foreign languages to ATM machines. What do you do?'

"I can't imagine where I'd be today if it hadn't been for my high-school guidance counselor."

'We don't have much at the moment for pimps.'

"How did a guy like you ever get into a business like this?"

'My secret for a long life? I've always drank, smoked, made out with women and hated yogurt and exercising.'

'Here, every shift is the graveyard shift, Collins.'

"The really impressive thing about my references is I don't even owe them money!"