Skeptic Of Traditional Career Paths Gifts

'Your best hope to make money is suing someone.'

'Howard's doing things he's always wanted to with his redundancy money.'

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

Blend Schools

'He was a barman before he got into the demolition game.'

'Nothing serious. I just hate my job.'

"Yes, but is 'Bigfoot enthusiast' an actual job?"

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

Cycle of Professional Development

'What do I do for a living?? Isn't it obvious?'

"By the time I was supposed to resume my hockey career, I had discovered ice dancing."

School of Baristas

'Dad, I'm a lab-rat by choice, it's my profession. Now you're just going to have to accept the fact that you have a son who's pregnant!'

'So do I get the job or not?'

'You're at that awkward age where the others have figured out that you're a drone and you don't do anything.'

"Our curriculum focusses less on rote memorization and more on putzing around."

I've turned to the darkside!

'Of course me and Lottie never got around to having kids'

'I could do that!'

"Sometimes I think I'm a victim of the 'Peter principle', I reached my real competence level some time ago..."

John awoke feeling more optimistic. "I'm not unemployed - I'm self-employed. There's a difference," he lied.

Career options for fleas were limited.

"I didn't want the family business but ten years ago on take-your-child-to-work day my father wouldn't let me go home again."

'According to a recent survey, nine out of ten doctors, if they had it to do over, would go to law school.'

"You're the first person I've met who didn't become a pastry chef after suffering a nervous breakdown in a corporate job."

'My dad says job security and company loyalty are an urban myth.'

'First time, is it?'

"I'm getting too old for the mugging game - I'm thinking bout becoming a mortgage broker."

"I've been at home in a fired capacity."

"I'm sorry my Boy, but you're just not built for a career in Law"

A self made man who didn't follow the directions.

'I fancy a new challenge of driving slow with something cold in a box.'

'I teach foreign languages to ATM machines. What do you do?'