Skeptic Of Traditional Career Paths Pillows

'Your best hope to make money is suing someone.'

'Howard's doing things he's always wanted to with his redundancy money.'

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

Blend Schools

'He was a barman before he got into the demolition game.'

'Nothing serious. I just hate my job.'

"Yes, but is 'Bigfoot enthusiast' an actual job?"

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

The job is yours if you want it – but, of course, I'd expect you to sleep on it a few dozen times before deciding.

Cycle of Professional Development

'What do I do for a living?? Isn't it obvious?'

"By the time I was supposed to resume my hockey career, I had discovered ice dancing."

School of Baristas

'You're at that awkward age where the others have figured out that you're a drone and you don't do anything.'

'Dad, I'm a lab-rat by choice, it's my profession. Now you're just going to have to accept the fact that you have a son who's pregnant!'

'So do I get the job or not?'

"Our curriculum focusses less on rote memorization and more on putzing around."

'Of course me and Lottie never got around to having kids'

I've turned to the darkside!

'I could do that!'

John awoke feeling more optimistic. "I'm not unemployed - I'm self-employed. There's a difference," he lied.

"Sometimes I think I'm a victim of the 'Peter principle', I reached my real competence level some time ago..."

Career options for fleas were limited.

"I didn't want the family business but ten years ago on take-your-child-to-work day my father wouldn't let me go home again."

'According to a recent survey, nine out of ten doctors, if they had it to do over, would go to law school.'

"You're the first person I've met who didn't become a pastry chef after suffering a nervous breakdown in a corporate job."

'My dad says job security and company loyalty are an urban myth.'

"I'm getting too old for the mugging game - I'm thinking bout becoming a mortgage broker."

"I've been at home in a fired capacity."

I'd like to pursue a career, but I don't see any need for a high-speed chase.

'First time, is it?'

"I'm sorry my Boy, but you're just not built for a career in Law"

A self made man who didn't follow the directions.

"I used to write the songs—now I write the insurance policies."