Unconventional Foodie Gifts

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

"I heard this dumpster got a bad review, but we'll try it out anyhow."

'You think ideas are contained in food?'

"Oooh Darling....I hear this place comes highly recommended!!"

"With these electricity prices we can't afford cooking anymore. Imagine eating sausage-favored popsicles."

"If I admit that I was wrong I would be admitting to myself that my whole life and everything I am and believe in is based on lies!"

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

How about going easy on the carbs

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

Advocado

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

When the ship needed to go faster than Warp Speed, the crew ate lots of pungent beans.

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.