Experimental Foodie Gifts

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

People ordering 4 types of Negroni in a restaurant.

'I think you've just invented a mysterious fifth food group.'

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

Ten out of ten for effort...

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

'No creamed peas for me today!'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

Acme Foods. Research and Development. Then it's an "no" on the Mexican Jumping Bean Dip?

Tzatzikicicle

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

Funky Chef 2

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

Onion Guillotine

"Just remember...the main ingredient in all my dishes is love."

One reason secret family recipes are usually best kept secret.

"Our chef specializes in atomic gastronomy."

'Are you ready for dessert?'

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

'Uh yeah, it's supposed to be like that... it's a... it's a new invention.'

*Not suitable for those with an allergy to consciousness expansion

"Let's start a new tradition! You're each responsible for one thanksgiving dish!"

'What the devil is that?' - 'I don't know, I haven't named it yet.'

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

'What wine goes well with red meat?'

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

Molecular gastronomy.

"Who had the rainforest vinaigrette?"

'What kind of idiot orders a triple anchovy pizza with no cheese?'

'It's stew with a difference tonight - I've fried it.'

Endangered Entrees