Experimental Foodie Gifts

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

People ordering 4 types of Negroni in a restaurant.

'I think you've just invented a mysterious fifth food group.'

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

Ten out of ten for effort...

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

Tzatzikicicle

'No creamed peas for me today!'

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

Funky Chef 2

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"Just remember...the main ingredient in all my dishes is love."

Onion Guillotine

One reason secret family recipes are usually best kept secret.

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

"Our chef specializes in atomic gastronomy."

'Are you ready for dessert?'

'What wine goes well with red meat?'

"Who had the rainforest vinaigrette?"

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'Uh yeah, it's supposed to be like that... it's a... it's a new invention.'

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

Molecular gastronomy.

'What the devil is that?' - 'I don't know, I haven't named it yet.'

'Great crisps.' 'Yes, they're old cornflakes and salt.'

Kitchen Consultations

'What kind of idiot orders a triple anchovy pizza with no cheese?'

'It's stew with a difference tonight - I've fried it.'

'I know how you like Fusion cooking, so try this - macaroni and jelly!'

"The special tonight is Steak Teriyaki, which is seared, cubed, and expertly tossed into your mouth.”

'It tastes like California condor, but it has the consistency of bald eagle.'