Unchanging Workplace Enthusiast Gifts

"Of course you're not learning anything new here at Petherington and Snoode - we're a very old company!"

'These are job perks.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

Mr Yomp quickly got the hang of his new laptop.

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

'I'm not saying he's going to chew you out, but he skipped breakfast and lunch.'

'Good news! The boss called me in - I'm one of his people.'

Not a Work Place, a Wow Place.

'Staff Recommendations Inc.'

"Don't be irreplaceable, because if you can't be replaced...you can't be promoted."

'I interview well, but only for exit interviews.'

'Beegly, I want you to give this old college try... you know, cheat.'

He was the kind of boss who evoked extreme emotions.

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

"Best wishes in your new job!"

'There are two kinds of people, Harris. Those that KISS butt and those that KICK butt.'

'You'll find this a fun place to work.'

"His cell is a TV remote, his diplomas are elevator inspections, his computer's an Etch-a-Sketch -- but his contract's iron clad."

"It's face painting Friday."

'Is he expecting you?'

"We appreciate your eagerness, but stop gnawing the furniture."

"This one is less distracting."

'What training do I get?'

'Clear your desk. You're fired!'

A really great place to work: 'Entitlement Inc'

'The scary part is, he's in charge of quality control.'

'Now that your 'peak earning years' have passed, we'll be cutting your salary.'

Job centre - casual jobs; rotten, insecure low-paid jobs;dull, boring, repetitive jobs; Jobs that no-one in their right mind would consider.

Tom would go to almost any length to liven up a dull meeting.

"I take it you got the job?"

'And finally before I can permit you to shop in this store, have you ever raised your voice to a member of staff on any prvious occasion ?'

"I wonder if he realizes how belittling him wearing that thing around the office is."

"Dave's a real workaholic. His idea of a holiday is to shift to another office for four weeks!"

"Another week, another dollar. It seems like life is nothing but work, work, work! But there's nothing wrong with that! I like being busy. And boy, I'm always busy!"

"It's not just one incident - several of our customers have expressed their concern about your negative vibes."