Dynamic Workplace Enthusiast Gifts

"It's not just one incident - several of our customers have expressed their concern about your negative vibes."

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'These are job perks.'

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

Mr Yomp quickly got the hang of his new laptop.

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

"OK Hunter. Go join the 'non-verbal criticism skills' seminar!"

Not a Work Place, a Wow Place.

Miss Wilkins, I need you to pop in and hang up my phone for me again.

'Staff Recommendations Inc.'

'Good news! The boss called me in - I'm one of his people.'

'Cold hard facts are good, but to complete the picture, here's Brenda from the mailroom with some hot, juicy gossip.'

Workplace Confidentiality.

'How's this for a severance package? Five minutes to grab all you can get.'

"Best wishes in your new job!"

'I love men in uniformity.'

'Don't look at this as a demotion, look at it as the stripping away of your last shred of dignity.'

"This one is less distracting."

"We appreciate your eagerness, but stop gnawing the furniture."

"It's face painting Friday."

"Jason Smith, civil engineer" "Simon Truscott, uncivil engineer"

"Some people at work think you're a little to aggressive and intimidating."

"I'm used to dealing with grievances. I've been married for 30 years."

'Can we talk... alone?'

'Clear your desk. You're fired!'

'Try to forget that I'm your boss, Saunders and just try to think of me as one of the boys!'

'This makes our merit pay system so simple.'

"I preferred it when you micromanaged more openly."

"Sorry, sir. Access denied."

A really great place to work: 'Entitlement Inc'

'Hey you two, take it off-line!'

'It's the boss' attempt to convey a certain openness'

I've created a new policy that is both arbitrary and inconsistent.