Uncertainty Philosopher Gifts

'This is working fine now, but we really should have a backup plan.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

'Well, looking on the bright side, there's only 10 of them.'

I'm a bolt, dummy! Does everything look like a nail to you?!

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute - Calls will be answered in random order.'

Dynamic Decision Makers: Will Probably Be back in an Hour or so

"I refuse to go down with the ship."

Everything looks better through rose-tinted glasses.

"I spent all last year totally paralyzed with indecision about a career - isn't that some kinda tax deduction?"

"First me stock split, then my wife ran away with my broker, then my driverless car drove off without me..."

The Rebuilding Begins Again

'Oh, I'm unemployed -- but it's not as exciting as it sounds.'

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

"It's a bit overrated really isn't it?"

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

"Hey, it's good news!!"

'What's come over Heisenberg? He seems to certain about everything these days.'

'On the bright side I can finally understand what your saying.'

"Lighten up, pal, it's only a spider!"

Men discussing thier weight

'Your years of smoking like a chimney have taken their toll.'

"Money." I figure if I read about something, it'll show up. That's why I read "Naughty Stewardess Monthly."

Vanishing Point - 4 Miles.

Covid Timer

'Ha! I see a massive grey blanket too.'

'I like your 'glass-half-full' philosophy but not when it's a pint pot using a single malt whisky!'

'Bob, give it up. It's just crazy pipe dreams.'

"Well, it's a change of scenery."

Balloon Angel

'I like obesity in a woman, Priscilla.'

"....bird flu? No, I want something against the fear epidemic!"

"Hit 'em right after they won the lottery."