Ultimate Rule Bender Gifts

'Isn't being self-centred a disability?'

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

Alternative fielding positions

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

Black hole setting

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

Boys Cooking

Fat Kid 28- Discovers his feminine side

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

Gender-Neutral Rapunzel

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

'What? I'm behind the barriers, aren't I?'

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

"And now, let us view sitcom star Donnie J. Kroft's reading of his will, which was videotaped before a live studio audience."

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

"It's a cross between pop and rap. We call it 'pap.'"

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

'This isn't a good time. I'm in trouble with the Dean for using my cell phone in class. I'll call you back.'

'I know it's difficult to stay in compliance, with everything, Ferguson, but this is ridiculous!'

"In this company, Simmons, we hold our hands steady in the middle and shake our bodies."

'But, I'm not fishing. I'm just teaching my pet maggot how to swim.'

Fun on the pyramids