Rule Bender Gifts

'I've been here so long I don't remember what I did, but it had something to do with non-compliance.'

'I'm not here for committing a crime - I'm here for failing to comply with a guideline.'

'I know it's difficult to stay in compliance, with everything, Ferguson, but this is ridiculous!'

Government 101 - Do not walk.

'The lease says, 'No Pets'! Chickens ain't pets!'

'I've been sent to the Principal's office before, but this is the first time I've ever been subpoenaed!'

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

"So, THAT'S what 'compliance' means!"

'Honest! I didn't see the signs!'

'Sorry, two nine year olds are not the same as an eighteen year old.'

'The memo said we can't eat at our desk. Didn't say anything about cooking.'

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

"I appreciate the new campaign finance laws, but I miss the thrill of getting around the old ones."

"I'm afraid he's right-there's nothing in here about slobber balls."

"He's right - you only said he couldn't sleep on the bed."

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

'But, I'm not fishing. I'm just teaching my pet maggot how to swim.'

Fun on the pyramids

'You are here- NO loitering!'

How Bob wound up with a whole mess of rules.

"You can see why this is my favourite pub for darts!"

'Do you mind id I take a few calls while you're writing up that ticket, Officer?'

'There wasn't time to do it by the book. I did it by the front inside flap of the dust jacket.'

Because the bowler had his back turned the umpire couldn't be sure the ball was being tampered with.

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'That suit is you, alright, but our dress code says it isn't us.'

'Now what does that game warden want? He's already checked my license.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

To Be Fully Compliant - Deposit 50 cents.

Chess bowling.

"Looks like he's found a loop hole."

'Don't look at me like that! I know it's a banned substance, OK? But how can I compete if I'm the only one in the league not using spinach?!'

'He's using a cheat sheet, ump! Can he do that?'

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'