Rule Bender Gifts

'I've been here so long I don't remember what I did, but it had something to do with non-compliance.'

'I'm not here for committing a crime - I'm here for failing to comply with a guideline.'

'I know it's difficult to stay in compliance, with everything, Ferguson, but this is ridiculous!'

Government 101 - Do not walk.

'The lease says, 'No Pets'! Chickens ain't pets!'

'Honest! I didn't see the signs!'

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

'I've been sent to the Principal's office before, but this is the first time I've ever been subpoenaed!'

"So, THAT'S what 'compliance' means!"

"I appreciate the new campaign finance laws, but I miss the thrill of getting around the old ones."

'The memo said we can't eat at our desk. Didn't say anything about cooking.'

'Sorry, two nine year olds are not the same as an eighteen year old.'

"I'm afraid he's right-there's nothing in here about slobber balls."

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

'But, I'm not fishing. I'm just teaching my pet maggot how to swim.'

'You are here- NO loitering!'

Fun on the pyramids

How Bob wound up with a whole mess of rules.

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

Ride restrictions...

'Some might see this as a bribe, Sir.'

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'

To Be Fully Compliant - Deposit 50 cents.

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

'Um...Excuuuse me?! Apparently you've forgotten the household peacekeeping policy.'

"Looks like he's found a loop hole."

"Your Casual Friday's have slipped into Casual Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays..."

'Do you mind id I take a few calls while you're writing up that ticket, Officer?'

'He's using a cheat sheet, ump! Can he do that?'

'That suit is you, alright, but our dress code says it isn't us.'

Chess bowling.

'Don't look at me like that! I know it's a banned substance, OK? But how can I compete if I'm the only one in the league not using spinach?!'

'Now what does that game warden want? He's already checked my license.'

'There wasn't time to do it by the book. I did it by the front inside flap of the dust jacket.'