Rule Bender Appreciator Gifts

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

Modern Football

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

Alternative fielding positions

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

'What? I'm behind the barriers, aren't I?'

Bureau of the Budget. If we serve alphabet soup, we can count it as a lunch program and a literacy program!

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

'I know it's difficult to stay in compliance, with everything, Ferguson, but this is ridiculous!'

'But, I'm not fishing. I'm just teaching my pet maggot how to swim.'

Fun on the pyramids

At last he had found the Regulatory Guidelines.

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

'I said you could have ONE cookie!' 'I know. I took two HALF moon cookies...'

'Oops! Looks like I've broken every rule in the book.'

'Never shoot straight up.'

'Where in the rules does it say I can't keep a mascot in the goals?'

'My ambition is to discover the Great American Loophole.'

"I'm afraid he's right-there's nothing in here about slobber balls."