Reality Bender Gifts

"BJ is aware of your concerns, but he's waiting until your facts agree with his idea of reality."

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

The ride with the shortest lines at disneyworld...

"Harry lives inside a beltway all his own."

Black hole setting

House Hunters: "Well, I do enjoy a kitchen island as much as anybody else, but. . ."

'It's not a lie, Mom - it's virtual reality!'

"The imaginary people keep telling me that I'm crazy..."

'I was driving around in some very heavy traffic, and i thought 'big deal, it's only virtual reality'..But it wasn't.'

'You're not fooling anybody but yourself.'

Virtual reality generator strip

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

"Hallucinatory in what way?"

"This is my last session, doc. I'm thinking it's a pretty good time to be delusional."

Unreal Estate Investing

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

Alternative fielding positions

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

Lateral Thinking - Not Out & Not In trays.

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

Fat Kid 28- Discovers his feminine side

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'