Role-bender Gifts

Boys Cooking

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

Alternative fielding positions

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

Black hole setting

Gone Bookkeepin'

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."

Fat Kid 28- Discovers his feminine side

Gender-Neutral Rapunzel

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

'What? I'm behind the barriers, aren't I?'

"And now, let us view sitcom star Donnie J. Kroft's reading of his will, which was videotaped before a live studio audience."

"It's a cross between pop and rap. We call it 'pap.'"

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"