Role Breaker Gifts

"Oh, no. If you're going to be primary breadwinner, then I get to be primary caregiver."

'Let's not go by the book.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"At this office no two days are different."

Dog walking Human.

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

Walk or don't. You're a grown man. Make your own decisions.

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

"Worst breach of corporate dress code I've ever witnessed."

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

'Hey, hey, hey!'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

Gone Bookkeepin'

'Read that last part back to me.'

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'I hate having to go outside for a cigarette!'

'Oi mate! No hoods in the shopping mall.'

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

Henrietta was never one to conform to society's labels. She preferred to think of herself as an 'off-Rhode lsland Red'...

'I'm sure it's a violation, but I can't find it in the rule book.'

Lab safety Rule No. 1