Rule-bender Extraordinaire Gifts

"The bad news is my doctor limited me to one glass of wine per day. The good news is I get to pick the glass."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not in art class. I will not talk in art class.

Alternative fielding positions

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

Bureau of the Budget. If we serve alphabet soup, we can count it as a lunch program and a literacy program!

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

'What? I'm behind the barriers, aren't I?'

Fun on the pyramids

'But, I'm not fishing. I'm just teaching my pet maggot how to swim.'

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

"Let 'em try to regulate this!"

'Never shoot straight up.'

'I said you could have ONE cookie!' 'I know. I took two HALF moon cookies...'

'Where in the rules does it say I can't keep a mascot in the goals?'

'My ambition is to discover the Great American Loophole.'

'When you grounded me to my room, you said no TV or computer. You never said I couldn't build my own bike.'

"I'm not fishing, I'm hunting."

"I'm afraid he's right-there's nothing in here about slobber balls."

'Don't look at me like that! I know it's a banned substance, OK? But how can I compete if I'm the only one in the league not using spinach?!'

'Um...Excuuuse me?! Apparently you've forgotten the household peacekeeping policy.'