Udderly Hilarious Humor Gifts

"I've had this sort of dragging feeling all day!"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

"Mum, please jump up and down . . . I feel like a milkshake."

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

The sudden extinction of Neanderclowns

"Frankly I'm a bit confused. According to the genetic printout this gentleman is, in fact, a goat

"Several groups have claimed responsibility."

Set fazers to 'Wet Fart!'

"Don't leave me dangling!"

Golfer in a tree.

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

"It's perfect."

'He was run over by our home. We live in a mobile home park.'

We never talk anymore, Lars. That's because it always ends the same way. You say, "Polly want a cracker." I give you a cracker. I try to shift the conversation to other topics, but you ask for another cracker again and again. 30 or 40 crackers later, you vomit and go to bed.

'Happy Valentine's Day!'

"The procedure took twelve and a half hours, during which time our team of doctors was able to put Mr. Dumpty together again."

'We can mail these thank you cards now that I've forged your name.'

"Got milk?"

Giant Visitor

'They get me a lot of respect on the freeway.'

'MILK ME!'

'I was never convicted! Doesn't that count for something!?'

'It's never an easy decision, but if you're looking for something economical, why don't you take a look at out value menu-er...Value model?'

"Just make sure you tie it good and tight! We'll have that tooth out in no time!"

I told you before, never call me on this number!

"You know, on second thought I do believe that is checkmate!"

'May I see some photo ID?'

'I'm afraid we can't allow two fat, ugly B******s like you to have a window table.'

Cheese maker

Sucessful forth place

Delivery Van with Tin Opener

"You hate to see this kind of thing."