Udderly Hilarious Humor Pillows

"I've had this sort of dragging feeling all day!"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

"Mum, please jump up and down . . . I feel like a milkshake."

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

"Frankly I'm a bit confused. According to the genetic printout this gentleman is, in fact, a goat

"Several groups have claimed responsibility."

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

Golfer in a tree.

Set fazers to 'Wet Fart!'

"Don't leave me dangling!"

"It's perfect."

'He was run over by our home. We live in a mobile home park.'

"The procedure took twelve and a half hours, during which time our team of doctors was able to put Mr. Dumpty together again."

'We can mail these thank you cards now that I've forged your name.'

Giant Visitor

'They get me a lot of respect on the freeway.'

'It's never an easy decision, but if you're looking for something economical, why don't you take a look at out value menu-er...Value model?'

'MILK ME!'

'I was never convicted! Doesn't that count for something!?'

"Just make sure you tie it good and tight! We'll have that tooth out in no time!"

"You know, on second thought I do believe that is checkmate!"

'May I see some photo ID?'

'I'm afraid we can't allow two fat, ugly B******s like you to have a window table.'

I told you before, never call me on this number!

Cheese maker

"You hate to see this kind of thing."

Delivery Van with Tin Opener

A regiment of roaches

Curse Farmer Pickles and his industrial laminator!