Udderly Hilarious Pillows

'MILK ME!'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

Cow writer.

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

"Mum, please jump up and down . . . I feel like a milkshake."

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

Who are you?

Set fazers to 'Wet Fart!'

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

"Don't leave me dangling!"

"It's perfect."

Lenny, the Fifth Wheel of the Apocalypse

'So where are you going?'

"Just make sure you tie it good and tight! We'll have that tooth out in no time!"

I told you before, never call me on this number!

Cheese maker

'I found out what's troubling me!'

'May I see some photo ID?'

Bar Code Cows.

Don't get wet.

"Congratulations on winning the milking contest."

"Did we really need a company newsletter?"

Why Lemmings Rarely Make Detectives

The kitchen at night.

"I've had this sort of dragging feeling all day!"