Udderly Fantastic Humor Pillows

Don't get wet.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

"Mum, please jump up and down . . . I feel like a milkshake."

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

The sudden extinction of Neanderclowns

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

Set fazers to 'Wet Fart!'

"Don't leave me dangling!"

"It's perfect."

We never talk anymore, Lars. That's because it always ends the same way. You say, "Polly want a cracker." I give you a cracker. I try to shift the conversation to other topics, but you ask for another cracker again and again. 30 or 40 crackers later, you vomit and go to bed.

"Got milk?"

'We can mail these thank you cards now that I've forged your name.'

'So where are you going?'

Giant Visitor

'I was never convicted! Doesn't that count for something!?'

'MILK ME!'

'May I see some photo ID?'

Cheese maker

I told you before, never call me on this number!

It's a wonderful death

"Congratulations on winning the milking contest."

Bar Code Cows.

Delivery Van with Tin Opener

Native weight watchers.

"Did we really need a company newsletter?"

"Good news! We've been selected as a potential burial site for nuclear waste."

"Keep me posted."

The kitchen at night.

"I've had this sort of dragging feeling all day!"

'The Gout'