Udderly Fantastic Humor Pillows

Don't get wet.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

"Mum, please jump up and down . . . I feel like a milkshake."

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

Set fazers to 'Wet Fart!'

"Don't leave me dangling!"

"It's perfect."

'We can mail these thank you cards now that I've forged your name.'

'So where are you going?'

Giant Visitor

'I was never convicted! Doesn't that count for something!?'

'MILK ME!'

'May I see some photo ID?'

Cheese maker

I told you before, never call me on this number!

It's a wonderful death

"Congratulations on winning the milking contest."

Bar Code Cows.

Delivery Van with Tin Opener

"Did we really need a company newsletter?"

"Good news! We've been selected as a potential burial site for nuclear waste."

"Keep me posted."

The kitchen at night.

"I've had this sort of dragging feeling all day!"

'The Gout'