Tyranny Challenger Gifts

The Rebel Donny Yuma

Turkish president promises end of state of emergency when elected.

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"No screen time means more scream time."

"I feel proud of the success I've made, thanks for all your support."

Trickle down

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

'I think our mission statement should mention scholarship and attendance.'

Margaret got tired of waiting for her ‘slow-brew' tea.

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

Executive fitness.

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

"Always a bridesmaid..."

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

'We now pause for technical difficulties....'

'You can't do anything right. What you need is confidence.'

"Hold on a tick! I didn't consent to this. . . Did you consent to this?"

"Questions have been raised about our leadership skills!"

''Love, honor, and obey'? - This needs a REWRITE!'

'I reduce my stress with comfort food. Now none of my clothes are comfortable.'

"Thanks for the 'Doctor's excuse' but I like to write my own material."

'Waiter, kindly take this away and bring me some hot soup.'

'I got him for self defense. Boze eats my wife's leftovers.'

As soon as the diet ends the lost weight returns.

Unreliable Narrator

"Then they revoked his hunting license!"

'Don't change the channel.'

"My solicitor tells me I have grounds for a divorce. You're a control freak."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz - 'How did my life get this dull?'

''Proclaim freedom throughout the land'? - You're kidding, right?'