Twilight Aficionado Gifts

'When I was young I was 'Twilight fast'.'

"I love this time of day."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Television Readers.

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

Vlad the Inhaler

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

Love is when you watch television together.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

Astral Projection

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

Atomic Bear: Part 21

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

The Family Joules: Part 5

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'